Rush (Roam Series, Book Four) Read online

  She punched me in the ribs playfully. “You’re a smart boy.”

  We ate hotdogs, and she was finished before half of mine was gone. “Someday, I’m going to take you to a fancy-schmancy restaurant where the food is so good, you’ll want to slow down.”

  “Oh, yeah? In Cleveland?”

  I dipped a French fry in ketchup, shaking my head. “Oh, no. Paris. Venice. Rome. Somewhere slightly more exotic than Cleveland.”

  I immediately regretted the last city. She sighed, sitting back in her chair. I could tell her entire demeanor shifted. “Be honest with me. Are you still in love with Roam?”

  Blunt. I wouldn’t have expected anything less from her. “I’m not, but I’m wondering why you’re asking,” I responded.

  “Because I’m feeling something I’ve never felt before for a guy. And I refuse to… go there… with someone who’s still hung-up on his ex.”

  I felt like running a victory lap around the track. Well, there you have it. She likes you, too, you insecure baby. “Who’s this guy?” I demanded, dropping my fry and scraping my chair back to stand. “Get me my bat.”

  She almost spit her Coke out, shaking her head. “I’m freaking serious, Logan. Do you love her or not?”

  I sighed, swallowing hard. “I’ll always love her, Vi, because she’s my friend. But not like that- not anymore.”

  “Did you sleep with her?”

  “No,” I fired back, becoming irritated.

  “But you wanted to.”

  “I’m eighteen.” I shrugged, holding my arms out, defeated. “I don’t know what else to say. She was my girlfriend. Of course I did.”

  “Then why didn’t you?”

  “We weren’t ready.” She wasn’t ready, but it felt betraying to Roam to tell her that.

  “Huh.” She nodded, keeping her level gaze. “Waiting for marriage?”

  “No, I didn’t,” I answered pointedly, deciding that this was now an official interview. “Two girls. Both out of the picture. You?”

  She was taken aback, I could tell, and I was glad to put her in the hot seat for a second. “I… um…”

  “Nope. You opened this can. Pick a worm.”

  She tilted her head. “Hold on. I’m trying to count.”

  What the…? “Whoa. Never mind.”

  “Logan, I’m kidding.” She rolled her eyes. “I’ve never been with anyone.”

  “I didn’t need to know.” I piled our trash onto the brown, plastic tray, catching her eyes and holding them steady. “And I really don’t care. It wouldn’t stop me.”

  “Stop you from what?”

  I closed my mouth, deciding not to elaborate. “Come on, I have one more place I want to take you before you go. Are you sure I can’t drive you back?”

  “It’s too far- my foster mom is coming, but thanks.” She smiled, on her feet. “Where are we going?”

  “It’s a… really clichéd… surprise.”

  She laughed, following me to my car. Halfway through the parking lot, when her fingers curled around mine, I threaded mine through hers. I led her to the passenger’s side, opening the door for her.

  “Swoon… a gentleman,” she murmured, grinning. I lifted her hand, still entwined in mine, to my lips.

  The back of her hand pressed against my mouth, and I almost lost it. I felt every bone in her body go slack as I pressed her against the car.

  My tongue darted with a mind of its own, tasting her skin for a hint of a second as her breathing quickened. Her lips parted slightly, and her lids grew heavy as she tilted her head up to mine.

  Her entire aura begged me to kiss her, and my own aura kicked me square in the balls.

  Roam.

  She doesn’t want to see him anymore. Does that mean she wants to be with me? I thought of my parent’s wedding-house combo package, and then immediately let my mind wander to the dip between Roam’s nose and her mouth… my favorite part of her beautiful face.

  Violet was already lowering into the passenger seat when I finally turned back to her.

  Rolling my eyes to the wintry sky, I cursed and walked around the front of the Camry to the driver’s side. She offered me a disappointed smile as I started the car, shivering.

  Forget Roam! You can’t be with someone out of obligation; she wanted him, she chose this path. She’s on her own. I headed east toward Madison again, pointing to the radio. “You’re in charge. As I tell all of my passengers, boy bands may induce vehicular homicide.”

  Laughing, she reached for my phone. “You have music on here?”

  “iTunes.”

  “Hmn.” She scrolled through the song choices. “One Direction, One Direction, One Direction-”

  “Those are not mine.”

  “Incriminating.”

  “Roam’s.”

  Her face fell, and she pursed her lips, continuing to scroll. “The Glee Soundtrack?”

  “Okay, she must have been listening to my phone in the hospital. You’re on her playlist.”

  “Sure,” she teased, pressing the screen. “Okay, here we go. Greenday.”

  I listened to her choices all the way to Madison Village. The sun was completely down, and just as I anticipated, the Christmas lights brilliantly lit the square. I watched her reaction as we pulled into a parking space near the coffee shop; the twinkling white lights shone in her blue gaze as she turned my way. “How much time do we have?” I asked.

  “About a half an hour. Oh… are they singing?” She was out of the car before I could open the door for her. I reached for her jacket, tugging at the zipper.

  “Every Sunday night until Christmas. Are you warm enough?” I asked, and she nodded eagerly, accepting my hand as I led her to the square.

  “This is so beautiful.” She sighed as the group of carolers in the gazebo finished “White Christmas” and began “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” I turned her into my arms on the sidewalk, and she looked up at me in surprise.

  “We never finished that dance.” I tucked her against me, folding her cold hands into my warm grasp.

  Her face filled with wonder. An elderly couple smiled at us, and the man helped the woman to her feet, inviting her to dance as we were.

  “I love… this.” She rested her face on my chest, and I brushed my hand through her hair, wondering if she could feel my heart thumping beneath my coat.

  “Can I tell you something?”

  “Sure.” She sighed, and my gaze flickered downward to make sure her eyes were still closed.

  “I…” Tightening my hold on her, I took a steadying breath. “When I’m holding you, like this… it feels like… it’s the way it’s supposed to be.” I cringed at my vague words, but she quickly lifted her face to look up at me, hopeful. Say something romantic, my mind ordered. I glanced at the older couple, and then down at her. “That could be us someday.”

  Her face grew somber, and I immediately wished my words back. Shit. Too much.

  She held me tighter, the familiar chorus enchanting in the string-lit darkness. “That will be you someday. I won’t ever get older.”

  I stopped moving, unable to believe that I’d never thought of the future.

  She’s immortal. I’ll age, and she’ll remain twenty-seven for the rest of her existence.

  And I’ll die.

  Chapter Seven

  Two Weeks Later

  Logan

  The text slid through on my phone just after 5 AM. The alerting buzz jerked me out of dank, wet forest.

  Please pick Roam up at my house and take her to school this morning. I will speak to you about this later. -W

  I blinked through the sleep in my eyes, my heartbeat instantly doubling. Anger took over my thumbs and left the body of my message up to auto-correct.

  Why is she at YOUR house

  Even more infuriating, he didn’t answer.

  I drove too fast to his house in Harpersfield. I knew why she was there. Punching the gas, I fumbled with my phone.

  She answered on the first rin
g.

  “Morning, Logan.”

  Raspy, yet velvety at the same time. I could hear the smile in Violet’s sleepy voice. I miss waking up with her on the couch in the little cottage. Pounding the brakes and sliding on the wet pavement, I swung onto West’s road.

  I had barely had time to say good-bye to Violet.

  “Hey Vi. How are you?”

  “Oh, fanfreakintastic.”

  I smirked, despite my mood. “Oh, yeah? Dream about me last night?”

  She chuckled. Being graced with her laugh was like turning on the radio at the very beginning of my favorite song. “Just your 1955 biceps.”

  “Ooh. That hurt.”

  “I’m kidding. You were way too hairy.” She cleared her throat. “How’s Roam?”

  I hardened. “I think she stopped crying for about seven minutes yesterday.”

  “Logan,” she protested, laughing again. “That’s not fair.”

  “Who cares. Listen, I want to come pick you up on the fourteenth. I’m taking the day off of school, and then we’ll go through the inclined plane on the fifteenth. Is that okay?”

  “Yes.” She sounded eager, and I heard a dog barking in the distance. “Yes, thank you so much,” she hurried.

  “And…”

  And, I think you’re the most beautiful girl in the world, and if I make it through this alive, I want to kiss you for a week straight.

  “What?”

  “I’ll call you later, okay?”

  “Okay… thanks again.”

  I ignored Roam all day at school. By seventh period, I had convinced myself that she was helpless when it came to West, and it was my responsibility to protect her from herself.

  Pulling into her driveway after school, I suggested we do homework together and watch a movie. When she brushed past me on the sidewalk, I caught a whiff of his cologne or aftershave or man-stink on her and gritted my teeth at a fresh wave of irritation.

  We settled on Titanic. After writing the same sentence twice on my paper, I decided that I had something to say…

  And I was going to start a fight.

  I began with making sarcastic comments about the movie. She hated that, and I knew it.

  It only took two remarks before she ordered me to leave.

  Good, I have her attention. “Is Troy just a permanent fixture in his basement now? You know, work, cook dinner, feed the dog, feed the immortal prisoner…”

  “No! We’re trying to end this, and West is convinced we can do it without a baby!”

  Oh, nice. Now he’s just fucking her for the sake of… fucking her.

  “Really. Looks like you’re playing house.”

  “We’re going to cross over to this other… realm… and end this. Somehow.”

  She has no idea what she’s doing.

  “You need to be away from this.” I reached for her wrist, thinking of the long, horrible minute that it took to pull her dead body out of the swimming pool. Her hair had floated to the surface of the pool, and for some reason, I saw her hair like that in my nightmares over and over again. “We can do this without you. I can’t imagine if you were just… gone… from my life.”

  She wrenched away. “I’m going through.”

  I lowered to the couch, and after a moment, she sat next to me. I wonder if she thinks that she’s the only one affected by this prophecy bullshit.

  “Violet told me about the day her mother disappeared. There was no funeral, no body. No closure. Just paperwork and foster family after foster family. She’s on family number four.”

  She was silent for a few moments. Without moving, her soft voice, so familiar, reassured me. “I know that you… care… about her.” She slipped her hand into my open palm.

  Care about her? I think I’m falling in love with her. But I feel like I don’t deserve her, and I feel obligated to take care of you.

  “I care about her… a lot.”

  She curled against me, her cheek on my shoulder. “Logan… I will always love you… I will love you like I love wading in the lake… or riding the Ferris wheel, or… being with my mom. You are the other half of me.”

  I couldn’t speak. She laced her fingers in mine.

  “But I can never be with you the way you need me to be. I can never be your wife. Logan… I’m already gone.”

  The candor in her voice made me turn to her. I tilted her face to mine to dive into those green eyes one more time.

  I realized, at that moment, that I was finally reassured…

  And so fucking relieved.

  “Okay, then.”

  Her mouth, so close to mine, beckoned. I kissed her, distantly, detached… cordial. I registered the taste of cinnamon instead of her favorite mint toothpaste.

  She moved her mouth to my cheek, and then put her arms around me.

  “Tell Violet how you feel.”

  That night, I stared at my phone in silence. My parents had already left for the weekend, and I knew Roam was occupied with her own drama.

  Call Violet. Tell her how you feel.

  I held my phone in my fingers, jerking when it rang suddenly. I read the number on the display and rolled my eyes, lifting it to my ear.

  “This is Logan.”

  “I need your help.”

  “Then call her dad or Morgan,” I snapped.

  “No, she’s not here.” West cleared his voice. “When you pick her up in the morning, though, will you try to convince her to bring her swimsuit? I want her to get back in the pool.”

  “I already planned on that.”

  “Good.”

  I almost hung up, but his voice stopped me. “Logan, can I talk to you about something?”

  I sat up on my bed, glancing out the window at the swirling snow under the streetlight near the road. “What.” After a moment of silence, I exhaled an irritated sigh. “What?”

  “Please don’t hurt her.”

  Stiffening, I moved the phone into my field of vision for a moment before pressing it back to my ear. “Why would I hurt her? I like Violet.”

  “Not Violet. Roam.”

  I reached for the windowsill, digging my fingernails into the soft wood.

  “I know the dreams are vivid. I’m waiting for you to snap.”

  And there it was. I felt like barfing my guts up on my bedroom carpet.

  Fueled by resentment, I gripped the phone in my instantly-sweating palm. “This isn’t like the other lives. I love Roam. Not the way I used to… but not any less.”

  “Her choosing me… doesn’t anger you?”

  He sounded like a smug lawyer leading me to perjury. I decided to ignore his question. Yes, it pissed me off, but not as much as it did… before Violet.

  “Honestly, I’ve got one girl on my mind, and it isn’t Roam.”

  The stillness on the line had me checking so see if he’d hung up. Finally, he spoke. “My first instinct is to threaten you. But, you’ve earned my respect, Logan, and that’s not fair. I don’t know what’s going to happen when we cross over, and the bottom line is- I need your help.”

  Shaking my head to no one, I narrowed my eyes. “Why do you think I’m coming? Of course I’m going to help.”

  “Even if that means fighting- maybe to the death- for someone you can never have?”

  I thought about Troy, and the history behind the prophecy. He thinks I’ll betray Roam. “I’ll make you a promise.” I stood, pressing my heels into the carpeting. “I’ll make sure she’s never alone. If you can’t be there for her, then I will. No matter what.”

  He listened without speaking. Finally, I heard him clear his throat. “Thanks, kid.”

  “Again- it’s for Roam. I would have done it anyway. But apparently, being the needy prick that you are, I have to say it out loud.”

  He disconnected without another word.

  I decided to sleep on the living room couch; I’d noticed that the less comfortable I was at night, the less likely I was to dream. After staring at my phone through half of an episode of Homelan
d, I finally pulled up Violet’s last text.

  With one thumb, I typed I can’t stop thinking about you tonight.

  I hit send before I could erase it. There. Honest, to the point.

  Claire Danes was ranting about something on the widescreen when Violet’s text slid through moments later.

  I’m going to die if I don’t kiss you right now.

  I had to read her words four times before comprehending them.

  Waiting through the two, long, torturous rings drove me crazy. Finally, her voice had me smacking at the remote before finally walking across the living room to turn off the TV. “Just listen to me, but don’t talk,” she ordered.

  I love how fucking bossy she is. Lowering back to the couch, I waited.

  “I kind of… love you. No, not kind of. I am so in love with you.”

  Every miserable memory of the past few months extinguished in my mind, replaced by the most self-satisfied, exhilarated, certain feeling I’d ever experienced in my life. I cleared my throat, knowing that my smile traveled all the way into outer space and bounced back down through her line. “Can I talk?”

  “Yes. Please.”

  “I don’t kind of love you, Violet. I definitely love you.”

  Her gasping breath, and then her raspy laughter, made me want to crawl through the phone and crush my lips to hers.

  “I need to see you.”

  “My parents are gone for the weekend. I can come get you tomorrow after school.”

  “That’s a seven and a half hour drive, Logan.”

  “I want you.”

  I hoped my intentions were clear in my voice. She swallowed. “I want you to have me. All of me.”

  Fucking hell. I burst from the couch, searching absently for my keys. “I’m coming now.”

  “No, no,” she laughed, and I smiled into the phone, longing to see her perfect mouth curve into that luring grin. “I have school tomorrow, and so do you.”

  “I’ll be there by eleven on Saturday-”

  “No, Logan, this is good,” she said, and I dropped to the couch again, running my fingers through my hair and over the back of my neck. I need to roll around in the snow and calm down. “I like the way this feels… this feeling in my body. Wanting you. Let it last.”

  Jesus. I adjusted myself uncomfortably, letting the back of my neck tilt against the couch to stare at the ceiling. “I wish you were here. Right now.”