Rush (Roam Series, Book Four) Read online

  “Of course. Roam.” She reached for her sister’s hands. “We are all here for you. I’ve got Chris. West is working with the police. We’ll find her. Okay? She’s not hurt. He’s trying to protect her- to keep her alive, remember? He thinks he’s doing something good. He won’t hurt her,” she repeated, as if trying to convince herself.

  “Thanks Morgan,” she answered brokenly, and I helped her to her feet, leading her out the back doors.

  The cottage was silent. I walked her to the bedroom, gesturing to the closet. “Why don’t you change, Cam? I need to get this tux off. Take the bathroom. Come on.” I reached blindly into the dresser drawers, grabbing the first tee-shirt and pair of shorts of Violet’s that I could find and placing them in her hands.

  She nodded and closed the bathroom door.

  I peeled off the uncomfortable tux, digging clean jeans and my favorite tattered, black Iron Maiden tee-shirt out of my duffle bag. All of my clothes were still at home, and my parents had planned to have them shipped out to me if we decided to stay in North Carolina.

  Eva. I lowered to the foot of the bed, absently gathering the contents of Violet’s overturned purse and shoving them back into the bag. Please, God, don’t let him hurt her.

  Roam appeared in the bathroom doorway, Violet’s shorts way too short on her tall frame. She tugged at the tee-shirt, her eyes sweeping over me. “You took that shirt to Afghanistan with you?”

  “I had to hide it from you. I knew you’d burn it the moment I was out of sight.”

  She tried for a smile, glancing at the clock on the nightstand. “I need to go back with Christopher-”

  “Morgan has him. My parents are there, Jason is there, Laurel and Mike are there. Everyone wants to help. Try to get some rest until West gets back from the police station.”

  She carefully sat down next to me, pressing her knee against mine. “I’ll never be able to rest. You know that.”

  I stared at the hardwood floor, tucking my arm around her. “I’m sorry for being an asshole at the hall. I didn’t mean to blame you.”

  “I know. But it does feel like my fault. All of this.” She gathered her hair to one shoulder, turning to me. “The pain you’ve all gone through… West and Violet… the more I think about it, the more I feel like it all started with me. With me and Troy.”

  “Makes total and complete sense.”

  She narrowed her eyes at my sarcasm. “I’m serious. I don’t know exactly what happened in that first life in Icepond, but I feel like I am the one causing all of this.”

  “You know that the guilt that you’re feeling is because of what Troy did to you. You’ve talked about this with me.”

  “But it’s more than that,” she argued, shrugging. “I don’t know. The medication helps.” She spread her hand over her flat stomach, her eyebrows drawn together. “I started the meds again after Christopher was born.” Her fingers laced together and began to twist.

  I reached for her wringing hands, falling back on the bed. She followed suit, and we stared at the ceiling just as we used to in our family homes when we’d talk for hours, our heads touching lightly.

  Sighing, I traced my fingers over hers. “I’m zoning out lately. In that mortar attack, I was in the castle when it happened. Mentally. It comes over me and I’m in a nightmare in a forest or a dungeon, or in the castle… honestly, I’d rather dream about Afghanistan.”

  She turned to me, and I appreciated her pitiless gaze. “I missed you.”

  “Missed you too, Cam.”

  “I want… to kill him,” she whispered, her voice barely audible in her throat. “When I find this immortal man, I want to kill him like I killed Troy, on the ship. And I will.”

  Images of her face, covered in green paint and dripping with the blood of the men she’d slaughtered in the castle, came rushing back full-force.

  I let go of the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. “Do you think that there is a hell?”

  She tightened her grip on my hands. “Logan.”

  “Come on. You went to church all those years, just like I did. You heard the same Bible passages that I heard. Do you think there’s a hell, yes or no?”

  “I don’t know.” She cupped my face in her hand, tears glistening in her eyes. I watched as one slid down from the corner of her lashes to the bedspread. “But if there is, you don’t belong there.”

  “I don’t belong here.” I shifted my gaze upward, following the lines of the ceiling fan.

  “Please don’t say that.”

  “After what I’ve done to you in the past, and what Troy made me do in that castle.” I let her thumb trace the space between my ear and my neck. “Overseas… and now Eva.”

  “I would know if she was gone.” She crumbled, turning to the bedspread and breaking into tears. “I knew she was alive the first time, and I know she’s alive now. I just have to find her. But I don’t know how,” she cried.

  “I’m going to find her, Roam.”

  “We’ll find her.” West’s voice jerked me out of our quiet conversation, and she sat up, reaching for him. He took her into his arms. I leaned forward, searching for my wife. “Violet’s at the main house.”

  My phone buzzed and rang in a strange way, and I glanced at the missing child alert. “It’s been issued.”

  “I’m going to search the islands. I can’t sit here.” West smoothed her hair, brushing her tears away with his hands. “Roam, I need you to stay here. Protect Christopher. He’s in just as much danger as Eva.”

  “I will.”

  “I’ll come with you-” I began.

  “No.” West turned back to me, his eyes darkening. “I need you to leave.”

  The silence in the cottage severed the space between us.

  Roam turned to him sharply, and I stood up.

  “Leave?” I echoed, narrowing my eyes.

  He kept his eyes on me. “I need you to go to Ohio. He was there once, he may go back there with her. Her toys and her clothes are at the house. He may be going there with her if he thinks we’re all here. He won’t fly, which means if he has headed that way, he’s got a couple hours on you. He would have to stop more often, for her.” His voice shook with the struggle for control, and I finally realized that it wasn’t anger in his tone. He’s scared to death for his daughter.

  “West.” Roam tightened her grip on his shoulders. “Logan can’t go alone-”

  “I’m going.” I reached for my bag, and Roam pushed away from him, reaching for my arm.

  “No! You’re staying-”

  “Cam, let go of me.”

  At my threatening tone, she uncurled her fingers from my wrist.

  “Violet is staying here.” West added. The sound of fireworks at the shore drew all of our attention, and he gestured to the window, as if proving a point. “There are no flights tonight. You have to drive.”

  My eyes narrowed, and I turned to him, gripping the handle of my bag until my knuckles cracked. “Is that her decision to stay, or yours?”

  He stared, unflinching. “Mine. Make it happen, Logan. Don’t put her in the same danger you’ve put Roam, Christopher and Eva in.”

  “West.” Roam turned to him, ready to defend me again, but I cut her off with a shake of my head.

  “Take Jason’s Jeep.” He tossed me the keys, as if he’d already discussed this with Jason. What the fuck. The faster I leave, the better? Is that the general consensus?

  “I can’t believe you’re doing this to him! Logan, this isn’t your fault.” Roam turned to me again, but I met her eyes.

  “Tell Violet I love her. If anything happened to her- or to you or Christopher- I’d never forgive myself. And if he hurts Eva… I can’t live with that.” I directed my words to West, not looking at him. “Find her.”

  “Not without me.” Violet’s voice drew our attention as she stormed into the bedroom, turning her back toward me. “Get this dress off of me. West, you have no right to dictate my life. Logan is my husband now. I go where he g
oes.”

  I began tugging at the first of the more-than-fifty pearl buttons, and Roam’s fingers quickly replaced mine.

  “I’ll help her change. Please just… just help me find my baby, please.”

  Her emotional words were enough to silence West. She shrugged him away, continuing to help Violet with her gown. I unzipped my duffle bag, moving to Violet’s drawers and grabbing random pieces of clothing.

  “I guess we’re outta here, then, Vi.” I met her eyes as she stepped out of the gown and wore only a long, white slip. “Keep the communication going. Roam, I’ll call before I change states.”

  She ran her fingers over the coordinates on her arm. “Okay.”

  “If you find him, don’t go in alone.” West looked between Violet and me.

  I took a step forward, meeting his even glare. “When I find him, I’ll handle him. Apparently, he’s my problem.”

  I stormed from the cottage to the Jeep, and Violet joined me within minutes, having changed into a shorts and a tee-shirt.

  “Are you sure?” I asked her, shifting the manual into drive. “I don’t know what I’ll do when I find him, Vi.”

  She gathered her hair into a ponytail, arching one eyebrow. “I go where you go, Logan. Remember?”

  She carefully piled Jason’s blueprints in the backseat of the Jeep. West had provided the start-up costs for Jason’s construction and design business, becoming a silent partner in May Homes & Design. Throwing his money around whenever- and wherever- he can.

  While I had wanted Violet to have a beautiful wedding, I would have preferred a ten minute ceremony at the J.P. over the elaborate day funded by West’s wallet.

  Leaning across the console, I wrapped my hand around her head and tugged her mouth to mine. “I love you… so goddamn much.”

  “Drive,” she breathed into my kiss, settling back into her seat.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Violet

  “… developments in the missing North Carolina child story.”

  I watched Logan turn off the radio. “What did they say? What did I miss?” I sat up in the seat, brushing away the hair in my face. How long was I sleeping?

  “No developments. Nothing from West and Roam.” He stretched his arm out before kneading his fingers into the back of his neck. I reached for him, replacing his hand with mine.

  “Where are we?”

  “West Virginia.”

  “You’ve been driving all night. Want me to drive for a while?”

  “No, babe, I want you to close your eyes and put your seat back.”

  “No, I’m up now, Logan, I-”

  “Come on,” he urged, and I sighed, dropping back in the reclining passenger’s seat. “Close your eyes.”

  “I will when you’re done messing with my phone. Someone has to watch the road.”

  He nodded and pressed the screen of my phone, waiting. Finally, he scrolled until he found Wedding Playlist on my music, hitting shuffle. I smiled at him, closing my eyes and settling back to Louis Armstrong’s “Wonderful World.”

  “Okay, I just finished dancing with my mom. Now the entire bridal party is dancing. Morgan and Jason are doing all kinds of awesome moves because Jason thinks he’s the shit.”

  I giggled, squeezing my eyes closed.

  “Roam and West are flashing googly eyes at each other, making out during the entire song. In fact, I think she’s pregnant again by the last verse.”

  “Oh Logan, stop it,” I laughed, gripping my abdomen and turning toward him in laughter. He raised his eyes, shaking his head.

  “Eyes closed.”

  “Okay, okay.” I obeyed.

  “Now we’re cutting the cake… and you stick your finger in my mouth, and I suck on it all adorably, and everyone is banging on their glasses for us to kiss.”

  “I like that.” I sighed, thoughts of Eva trying hard to invade the daydream he was creating. I cringed them back.

  “And just when I’m about to kiss you, I grab my piece of cake and slam it right in your face. Some of it falls in your cleavage and I go for it.”

  “Okay, now this isn’t a reception any more, it’s porn.”

  “It’s all for show. I don’t really eat it. I just kiss your neck and get all the icing.”

  “Uh-huh.” I locked my thighs together at the thought of his lips on my neck. The song ended, and LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know It” began.

  “Now it’s time for me to go for your garter. And I go get it with my teeth, because that is what my grandmother wants. It is tradition.”

  His solemn voice sent me into laughter again, and I sighed, turning toward him. “Of course.”

  “And it’s time to toss your bouquet, and…”

  He trailed off, and I knew he was thinking of Eva. He turned the music down, and I straightened my seat again, leaning into him. “We’ll find her.”

  “You talked to this guy. You have an idea of what he’s about. Will he hurt her?” His voice, so controlled, was laced with both fear and fury.

  “No. No, Logan. He wasn’t… threatening. I really think he means to protect her. He knows she’s the one. He knows about the prophecy.”

  “So the other me, of 1955, apparently was a ‘sharing’ kind of guy. I just told my wife and kid all about the prophecy, and took my own kid with me on field trip to kill Annie.”

  “He showed me news photos. Of the crime scene.” I flinched at the memory of the horrible images. “I don’t think that you knew he was there.”

  “Mathison could be anywhere. We have no idea how to find him.”

  I thought of Eva’s bright, green eyes, and her missing front teeth, longing for her adorable little attitude. “But we have to,” I managed, turning quickly to the window.

  “He’s not gonna come to me, Vi. He’s waiting to confirm my death.”

  “But… you’re immortal.”

  “And Eva made me immortal. She understands immortality. What if she tells him what I am now?”

  The thought hadn’t occurred to me, and now that he said the words, my heart sunk into my stomach. “Oh my God… then he’ll keep her… forever?”

  “I can’t let that happen.” He veered off the highway and took a random exit, pulling into the closed BP gas station. “There has to be a way to find her.”

  “This will destroy Roam. It’ll destroy them both,” I murmured, pressing my palms to my eyes. My beautiful, little sister…

  “He came to West’s house before. Maybe he’ll come again. Eva’s clothes, her toys are there. If he plans to keep her, maybe he’ll try to gather her things.”

  “And we’ll be waiting for him.” I nodded, reaching for the door handle. “Come on, let me drive. You need sleep.”

  He didn’t argue, moving around the car to take the passenger’s seat. We met at the front of the car, holding each other, comforting. “Thank you for choosing me,” he mouthed against my ear.

  The humid, night air hung around us, and he lifted me to better reach my lips. I twisted his tee-shirt into my hands, nipping at his bottom lip before his tongue dove for mine.

  “Always, Logan. You’re mine. I’m yours.”

  For the remainder of the drive through the mountains of West Virginia, he wrapped his fingers in my curls, again and again, taking time to trace my neck and jaw as often as possible. By the time we reached Ohio, we were both starving, and he needed to call Roam to warn her of the coordinates again.

  I pulled into a McDonalds, listening to him speak to her. “Ohio. Yes. You sound like you haven’t slept all night. Cam, sleep. You have to take care of yourself. If not for you, then for Christopher. He needs you.”

  I ordered us two breakfast meals and coffees, and we ate in the car and then took turns using the restroom. A young mother carried her pajama-clad daughter, about Eva’s age, into the restroom, and I watched Logan stiffen as he noticed her, too.

  He took the wheel, and as he pulled back onto the highway, his words nearly broke my heart all over again. “I hope he’s pa
tient with her. He can’t be hurting her,” he exhaled once, twice, sharply and ran one hand through his hair. His struggle for control brought me to tears.

  “Logan.” I straightened my engagement ring and wedding band, taking a deep breath. “She has magic. She may be able to protect herself in ways we can’t imagine.”

  “God I hope so. I love that little girl so much.”

  I reached for his hand, and he took mine. Tell him. Now. You’ve already waited too long.

  “Logan… I need to just come right out and tell you something, okay? Please don’t say anything until I’m finished.”

  He gave me a long, sideways glance before nodding once.

  Taking a deep breath, I turned toward the window. “I am not mortal. You know that already.” I cleared my throat, exhaling slowly. “When you were gone, I went to a doctor because I guessed that I was healing after we made love. Every time.”

  He started to speak, but must have remembered my request and kept silent.

  “I found out that it’s true. I heal. I can’t carry a baby, not in this body. I can’t have children.”

  When I stopped speaking, I turned to him. His fingers sought mine again, and I let him take my hand.

  “Can I talk?”

  “Yes.”

  He exhaled sharply. “You went through this, all by yourself? Wasn’t anyone there with you?”

  “I went by myself. But I told my mom. No one else knows.”

  “Jesus, Vi.” He slowed the Jeep to a stop along the highway, turning to me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I was afraid you’d leave. And I am selfish.”

  “Selfish?” He caught my chin in his hand, searching my eyes. “Take a second and think about what selfish means. Think about the moment you were born, and all that you’ve been through.”

  The worst moment, the seven times that I stabbed Two with a steak knife, surfaced as I lowered my face to my hands. He reached for me, and I let him unbuckle my seatbelt and pull me into his arms.

  “Do you hate me?”

  “No.” He pressed his lips to my temple, and then my forehead. “No, I love you with all of my heart.”